In the wee small hours of the morning....


12 April 2013 (4:00 am-ish)

I am frustrated because I cannot sleep and I know I have to be up soon. Really up, not just awake but ready to engage the day, the work ahead of me. Spiritually and emotionally bereft because I had not had enough time to lean on Him in between the mountains of work - to rest in the valley. But as I sit here, chronically tired again, I realize that I have again left out the most important part of my days by not handing the day to Him, first thing, first breath. I have not reached out for His presence, first and foremost. If I don't take time to steady myself on the rock, to anchor my soul to the unchangeable, immovable "I AM" then I will feel tossed about all day, tasks slipping away from me like sand I try to grasp in my fingers while the constant tide of "to-do's" lashes against my feeble soul. I forget to remember how feeble I am and that makes me more weak - the not remembering I mean. Because I haven't refreshed myself enough at His well. I haven't
"eaten" my daily bread. And then I wonder "why am I so exhausted?" Why do both ends of the candle burn while I melt in the middle? Perhaps because I am trying to keep it lit with a book of matches that I keep striking instead of starting each day with the Eternal Flame. And maybe this being awake before the dawn breaks is not a curse but a gift from Him. Like Samuel, maybe He is calling out to me. Like Samuel, I cry out "I'm here Lord...Speak, your servant is listening." And I wait, listening for that still, small voice that is my rest and my salvation not just for eternity, but for every furious minute of every day.

Rejoicing in the slow this morning,

"Y" More

Career Woman, Working Mother

Labels that ushered in the age of female independence

Feminazis claim: "You don't need a man..."

to be happy,

to make a living,

to have child.

You just need a donor.

What if I want to be more?

More than an X or Y.

More than a checkbook.

More than a bundle of muscles.

I am offering a name,

a future,

a family.

I am a REAL man looking for a REAL woman.

Not an apron, not a broom, not just a body.

Give me soul, a heart,
always,
forever.

April is National Poetry month. Today begins my attempt to meet the challenge offered by the Poetical Asides website.

The prompt for today's poem was as shown below:

For today's prompt, pick a type of person and write a poem about him or her. To help set the scene, you may want to title your poem as who the type of person is. For instance, you could write a poem titled "Firefighter," "Cynic," "Optimist," "Teacher," "2-year-old," etc. The list is endless.

(NOTE: I wrote my poem above from the perspective of a man in today's "modern" world.)

I encourage everyone to join in and contribute their own poetical aside.

Firefly buzzes Castle again

Calling all diehard browncoats! Did anyone happen to catch the not so subtle reference on Castle tonight to the "oasis of serenity"? LOVED IT! Nathan Fillion practically winked at the camera.

Well Read

My friend Starshine was sweet enough to tag me with a meme, which always helps me to kick-start my writing again.

What book are you reading right now?
Condi: The Life of a Steel Magnolia by Mary Beth Brown. I stumbled across this book at SAM's Wholesale. I enjoy biographies on occasion and I have had a lot of curiosity about Condoleezza Rice. She is a remarkable woman with a interesting history. I'm about one third of the way through and her family has played a huge role in her life. Her family's philosophy on life emphasizes faith and education, which to me are two of the best tools or weapons (depending on how you look at it) to conquer anything.There is no hint of a "victim of society" or entitlement mentality. Her success is based on a strong, abiding faith in God and honest, disciplined hard work.
What was the last book you read on a plane?
I think it was The Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde. This is the third book in a series of books based on a blend of mystery, science fiction, classic literature and brilliant puns. The setting is England in a future time. The heroine Thursday Next is a Literary Detective with Special Operations (SpecOps) and her job is to investigate book violations. Fans of classic literature (Shakespeare, Jane Austen, and Charles Dickens) will get a kick out of them. Although you can start reading the books anywhere in the series. I highly recommend starting with the first book and going forward to keep all the characters straight. These books are to literature what Frazier was to sitcoms: a thinking person's humor.

Note: I also always take my Newsweek and World Magazines on airplanes. I'm a news junkie and I figure between the two of them I get a fairly balanced view.

What was the last book you read on a roadtrip?
The last book I remember reading on a roadtrip was found in the place we were staying. We had taken a quick overnight trip to meet up with my best friend and her husband. We discovered a great little B&B called Fox Meadows, which I highly recommend. On the bookshelves in our cabin, I stumbled across an out of print poetry book by Leonard Nimoy entitled: You and I. The poetry was simple but striking.

What is the most unusual place you find yourself reading?
Lately, the park. MY HUSBAND and I went to a local park on a Sunday afternoon and he practiced his juggling while I read. It was a perfect day!

What books would you take to keep yourself occupied on a two week vacation to the beach?
Brilliant by Marne Davis Kellogg - This was a Christmas present from a good friend. It's a mystery that sounds like a fun time and looks like a good beach book.


This Year You Write Your Novel by Walter Mosley - I bought this a few months ago for inspiration and would like to finally get into it.

The Bible (New Contemporary Version) - I really like this version for its readability. I read the Books of Acts in two days because I couldn't put it down. It makes me want to read my Bible.

Coming Home by Rosamunde Pilcher - This was loaned to me by a friend. It's a big, thick hardback book-perfect for a long beach stay.

I would be curious to see what my friends Laura, Tim and Ann are reading.

Recipe of the Week - #1

Since cooking one of my favorite endeavors and since the previous post makes me hungry, I have decided to share one of my favorite breakfast recipes. I first had it about 14 years ago at a sleepover. Starshine’s Mom made it for us and I have made it every Christmas for breakfast in the last 10 years.

From the Kitchen of Starshine’s Mom

Easy Overnight Sticky Buns

Ingredients:
18 frozen rolls (from the freezer section – they should be in little dough balls)
4 tablespoons dry butterscotch pudding mix (not instant)
1/2 cup melted butter
2 tablespoons cinnamon
1/2 cup brown sugar
Chopped nuts (optional)

Directions:

Place frozen rolls in buttered bundt pan.

Sprinkle with 4 tablespoons dry butterscotch pudding mix (not instant).

Mix melted butter, cinnamon, brown sugar and nuts Pour butter mixture over rolls. Cover with foil and let set overnight. Do not refrigerate. In the morning, bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and invert to plate or 13x9 pan. Makes 18.

Starting the New Year Write

In the spirit of turning the page to a New Year, I have set a goal to write daily. I purchased a book last year in the hopes of transforming from an "aspiring" writer to a writer. In order to be a writer, one must write. The book is entitled The Write Brain and contains 366 writing exercises or prompts. I share below the fruits of my labor from the first exercise. I had to pick three words from a list and use them in the piece and begin the piece with the first sentence provided. The words provided by the book are in bold print, the rest is what spilled onto the page. Enjoy....

Sometimes I feel just like a gerbil, running around and around on his wheel! Everyone around me thinks my preoccupation with the perfect creme brulée is nonsense. But it's not when your livelihood depends on it. Being a great chef with numerous cookbooks and accolades under your apron is not easy. The critics never care what you've done in the past. Earning three stars in the Michelin guide isn't enough if you can't hold onto them. Competition is ruthless. Today, Madagascar vanilla is the rage; tomorrow, it could be Georgia peaches. It is an endless endeavor: a love/hate relationship with cuisine. The minute one becomes insensitive to the criticism, to the culinary race, is the minute your restaurant seats fewer customers.

People tell me it is a vain endeavor, a meaningless carousel, my quest for the perfect creme bruleé but they are fools. They cannot understand the dedication that goes into the creation of a masterpiece. You only get the first bite to make your impression. And it must be the perfect blend -- reaching the tongue with all the right flavors in all the right places. It matters not whether the dessert is eaten but whether it is savored. The moment that occurs in that one bite - that is what critics write about, that is what makes the reputation of a great chef. The pursuit of the perfect bite is never in vain.

There But for the Grace

There But for the Grace

It could have happened.
It had to happen.
It happened sooner. Later.
Nearer. Farther.
It happened not to you.

You survived because you were the first.
You survived because you were the last.
Because you were alone. Because of people.
Because you turned left. Because you turned right.
Because rain fell. Because a shadow fell.
Because sunny weather prevailed.

Luckily there was a wood.
Luckily there were no trees.
Luckily there was a rail, a hook, a beam, a brake,
a frame, a bend, a millimeter, a second.
Luckily a straw was floating on the surface.

Thanks to, because, and yet, in spite of.
What would have happened had not a hand, a foot,
by a step, a hairsbreath
by sheer coincidence.

So, you’re here? Straight from a moment still ajar?
The net had one eyehole, and you got through it?
There’s no end to my wonder, my silence.
Listen
how fast your heart beats in me.

~by Wislawa Szymborska

I read this poem originally about seven months after 9-11. I rediscovered it again later in a book and found out that it was originally written about the Nazi occupation of Poland in WWII and the Holocaust. And I think that if I am still here despite the other things that befall my fellow man, there is a reason. God must have some things left for me to do. And if you are reading this, the same is true for you. Waste not a day.