Good Bedside Manner

3:30 a.m.

Me: Honey, I think I might have the flu. The inside of my throat is really swollen.

MY HUSBAND: Do you want to take some ibuprofen?

Me: Yes, I'll go downstairs and get it.

MY HUSBAND: I'll get it, you might bump your throat on something.

For What He Didn't Do

For the first time in awhile, I decided to "veg" in front of the TV tonight. We don't have cable so the choices pretty much hinge on what I can get the rabbit ears to bring in. Tonight it was ABC. I grew up with TV, lots of it. So I know how all-consuming it can become. I have elected not to have cable and MY HUSBAND agrees with that. He didn't have cable before we married. Both us figure we should be able to amuse ourselves with the 5-8 channels that come in or find something else to do. Suffice to say, we have a HUGE movie collection.

Tonight though, I was in the mood to watch TV. And I stumbled across a show I had not seen before: "Men in Trees." It reminded me of "Northern Exposure" but instead of a male doctor, it revolves around a female author. It was interesting enough, the best lines were, as usual, recited at the end (reminescient of "Sex in the City" and no wonder because it has the same writers).

What struck me tonight though was a particular scene involving the main character (Marin) and the disappointment and heartbreak she experienced because her love interest (Jack) was torn between her and his former girlfriend (Lynn) who reappeared after leaving him months or years before. As I watched this, I could not help but reflect on how thankful I was that I never had to go through any of that with MY HUSBAND. Before we married and throughout our courtship not once did I wonder how he felt. I never had to worry about his confusion about us or other women or old flames. Yet one more thing that made me so sure I was going to marry this man.

When I met MY HUSBAND, I had gone through my fair share of riding my emotions, scrutinizing every word, trying to interpret a glance or a hug, wondering where I stood or if I was in standing at all. But with MY HUSBAND, none of that happened. As soon as the show ended, I got up and walked into our office where he was busily typing away on a journal and hugged him and kissed him and thanked him. I thank him everyday for a hundred little things that he does for me. Tonight I thanked him for what he didn't do:

• He didn't pursue me until he was sure of how he felt.
• He didn't speak in noncommittal words.
• He didn't run when I let my guard down.
• He didn't make promises he couldn't keep or excuses.
• He didn't bring unfinished emotions into our relationship.

And most of all, he didn't say "I love you" until he was sure that he could follow it up with "Will You Marry Me?"

~Santé

Ripe with Potential

I find it interesting how things seem to drop into our lives for no apparent reason. And if we are not very careful, we can often miss an opportunity because we assume we already know where it will lead.

I meet MY HUSBAND for lunch almost daily and he always walks me back to my car. This past Tuesday after he walked me back to my car and we kissed goodbye, I turned to open the door and on the ground was this lemon. At first glance it looked fake, so perfectly yellow and rounded. I almost got in my car without giving it a second thought. Almost.

Thankfully my curiosity got the better of me and I knelt down and picked it up and before I pulled it to my nose, I could already smell the sweet, fresh fragrance of potential. It was heavy in my hand, full of juicy possibilities. I called to MY HUSBAND who was walking away to show it to him. He held it and looked up into the trees, as did I. Surely this dropped from somewhere in the sky. Yet there was no lemon tree to be found.

Instead of tossing it away, I kept it. I started surfing online last night to find a good recipe that needs one lemon. I will keep you posted on what I decide to make. This lemon has become something of a symbol to me. A talisman for what may come. Sometimes, you don't have to go out on a limb to get a choice piece of fruit. Once in a while it just falls at your feet. And all you have to do is pick it up.

~Santé

Feeding Frenzy

A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles
in this manner:
Inside of me there are two dogs.
One of the dogs is mean and evil.
The other dog is good.
The mean dog fights the good dog all the time."
When asked which dog wins he reflected for a moment and replied,
"The one I feed the most." ~Unknown

This story pretty much sums up my struggle into the New Year. The problem has been that just because I turn the calendar another page, that doesn’t mean that my perspective shifts completely. I seem to be feeding the “impatient, why can’t people exercise common sense, how many times do I have to tell someone this, why are THEY in such a bad mood dog”; instead of feeding the “grateful to have a good job, wonderful HUSBAND, resources to follow my dreams, God is amazing dog”.

I realize that I have started the New Year with an emaciated spirit. I have spent so much time DOING in the last few wonderful whirlwind months of a new BLESSED marriage that somewhere along the way, I stopped feeding my soul, I stopped BEING. So instead of giving in to the world’s feeding frenzy, I resolve today not TO DO but TO BE:

• Be thankful for the life I have been given.
• Be aware of the struggles of others around me.
• Be alone with God.
• Be unafraid to be less than perfect.
• Be a boss who understands that there is more than one way to do things.
• Be more open to what others have to offer.
• Be an employee who equips my boss to succeed.
• Be less offended by the world and more compassionate toward it.
• Be a true friend who doesn’t consult her schedule in order to make time to listen.
• Be real – it’s not all about me.
• Be a grateful daughter and take time for my parents.
• Be a shelter for my husband, not a storm.
• Be all that God has given me the potential to be.

And then maybe…with a well-nourished soul, I can start to DO again.
~Santé*
*A shortened version of a French toast: A Votre Santé which translates “to your health.”