As my friends have entered the state of motherhood, I notice that they speak a different language than they did when they lived in the state of coupledom.
Coupledom includes phrases like:
"WE have plans that weekend but thanks for asking."
"I don't know what WE are going to do for Thanksgiving."
or
"MY HUSBAND is going to build me bookshelf."
"Oh, MY HUSBAND works in the area."
And I have to say, having recently entered the land of coupledom, I am really enjoying the new language I have learned. However, I do find the mother tongue of motherhood, known as "momspeak" to be quite amusing.
Here are some interesting aspects to it:
1. She speaks it only to her children but can do so while she is on the phone with you.
2. It is communicated at higher volumes so be prepared to pull the phone away from your ear at a moments notice.
3. Women who speak this language can do so without breaking their train of thought with you.
4. At some point, in a conversation with a momspeaker, you will hear her exclaim "NOOOOOOO!" and then she will turn her attention back to you or the "NOOOOOOO!" will be abruptly followed by a "I gotta go, I'll call you back!" and then she will hang up.
Let me give you some examples from my momspeak friends:
Friend No 1 - KJ
KJ and her daughter MS. MS (4 yrs old) is standing next to her mother chewing on a toy KJ while KJ is talking to me on the phone and this is what I hear:
KJ: MS, What is in your mouth?
MS: Nothing.
KJ: Is that food?
MS: No Mom.
KJ: Then take it out of your mouth.
MS: Yes Mom.
KJ talking to her 3-year old son, JC, who is chewing on the mouse-cord connected to the computer: "JC! Quit chewing on that, you are going to break it and you will never have a computer again for the rest of your life! "
Friend No 2 - KV talking to me last night on the phone while her 2 year old daughter M hovered near her plate, parentheses denote momspeak:
KV: So how are you and YOUR HUSBAND doing? (Hey get lost - that's my food)
Me: WE are fine, just getting adjusted to married life and looking forward to a mini-vacation this weekend with friends. Are you having a calmer week?
KV: Yes, much calmer than last week (no you cannot have dessert until you eat your meat and rice). I'm not as tired this week.
Somehow these conversations don't seem as foreign to me as they might seem. Back in the recesses of my memory, I recall hearing momspeak many moons ago. I used to think only my mom knew the language but it appears eventually, many of us learn to speak it well and with no training at all. Amazing, isn't it?
4 comments:
I,I,I,I,I...that's single-speak. Yeah, it's not quite as intersting as couple-speak and Mom-speak. However, I am fluent at it, and I hope to become bilingual in the not too distant future. I've been taking lessons in couple-speak and people say I hardly have an accent!
Yikes-- to see the transcript is at once amusing and horrifying. How can a woman who can carry on adult conversations in 3 languages be reduced to the level of short conversational bursts of not necessarily coherent phrases?
That said, my favorite language 'du jour' is momspeak :>
Thankfully, you don't hear half of the Momspeak I speak. Keep the blogs coming. I'm reading.
before i had kids i swore I would not speak mom-speak...but i'm finding myself oh so proficient in it recently. i believe i might even be fluent all too soon. loving the blog mare. keep posting please.
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