For What He Didn't Do

For the first time in awhile, I decided to "veg" in front of the TV tonight. We don't have cable so the choices pretty much hinge on what I can get the rabbit ears to bring in. Tonight it was ABC. I grew up with TV, lots of it. So I know how all-consuming it can become. I have elected not to have cable and MY HUSBAND agrees with that. He didn't have cable before we married. Both us figure we should be able to amuse ourselves with the 5-8 channels that come in or find something else to do. Suffice to say, we have a HUGE movie collection.

Tonight though, I was in the mood to watch TV. And I stumbled across a show I had not seen before: "Men in Trees." It reminded me of "Northern Exposure" but instead of a male doctor, it revolves around a female author. It was interesting enough, the best lines were, as usual, recited at the end (reminescient of "Sex in the City" and no wonder because it has the same writers).

What struck me tonight though was a particular scene involving the main character (Marin) and the disappointment and heartbreak she experienced because her love interest (Jack) was torn between her and his former girlfriend (Lynn) who reappeared after leaving him months or years before. As I watched this, I could not help but reflect on how thankful I was that I never had to go through any of that with MY HUSBAND. Before we married and throughout our courtship not once did I wonder how he felt. I never had to worry about his confusion about us or other women or old flames. Yet one more thing that made me so sure I was going to marry this man.

When I met MY HUSBAND, I had gone through my fair share of riding my emotions, scrutinizing every word, trying to interpret a glance or a hug, wondering where I stood or if I was in standing at all. But with MY HUSBAND, none of that happened. As soon as the show ended, I got up and walked into our office where he was busily typing away on a journal and hugged him and kissed him and thanked him. I thank him everyday for a hundred little things that he does for me. Tonight I thanked him for what he didn't do:

• He didn't pursue me until he was sure of how he felt.
• He didn't speak in noncommittal words.
• He didn't run when I let my guard down.
• He didn't make promises he couldn't keep or excuses.
• He didn't bring unfinished emotions into our relationship.

And most of all, he didn't say "I love you" until he was sure that he could follow it up with "Will You Marry Me?"

~Santé